Suburbia 2 game sucks1/31/2024 I watched Garoppolo piss away that game against the Cardinals on Sunday. Trusting him to throw the ball is like trusting Michael Jackson to babysit. If it’s a playoff game and the Niners aren’t running for nine yards a carry and the defense isn’t getting a sack every other play, Garoppolo is essentially useless. I just watched Jimmy Garoppolo win an NFC title and I remain thoroughly convinced that he isn’t worth a shit. You probably should not have thrown that ball. He will get a lead, and then his dick will take over playcalling duties. I never have to worry about this man winning a title now, because his M.O. When you are Kyle Shanahan, you are never on the good end of a miracle. Would you like to see one of those passes? Instead, against the Chiefs, he called 32 pass plays against 22 runs. Did Kyle note that scar? Did he realize the bountiful rushing gifts at his disposal in either of those delicate moments? FUCK AND NO, he did not. It’s as if God himself came down from heaven and carved RUN THE FUCKING BALL into his forearm. He had the best backfield in the NFL when he was with the Falcons, and his Niners ran for 285 yards against the Packers to GET to last season’s Super Bowl. Kyle Shanahan could have two rings and a gold toilet by now if he ever learned to run the goddamn ball. There he is, the man responsible for the two worst collapses in Super Bowl history. Five minutes later and the lead was gone. Yet, one basic cut and Ward ended up so far away from him that Hill could stop and WAIT for that pass, like he was returning a goddamn punt. You don’t get to be like, “Well gosh he’s just so fast, that one!” Jimmie Ward is no snail. But this was the best pass defense in football a year ago. Normally, the question “How do you not fucking cover Tyreek Hill?” answers itself. In fact, the Niners held that lead for over half of that fourth quarter. Took a 10-point lead into the fourth quarter against Kansas City in the Super Bowl. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers.
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